Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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