you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
