Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
