I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
