I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
