Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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