so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
