...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
She told me I should be a condom model.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
