You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Randomize
