im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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