Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
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