Your face is a jimmy john
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize