I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
