haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
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