I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
