Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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