Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
