i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
