There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
