He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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