return my video game
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
