Why are handjobs necessary in class?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
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