I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
