Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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