I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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