She is in my trunk
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
