just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Someone came in the potted fern
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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