I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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