I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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