He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
