I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
