But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize