I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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