Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
