WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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