Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
