sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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