capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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