This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
