we're chasing vodka with high fives
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
