Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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