I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
