i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize