just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
