i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
