I'm sorry my penis didn't work
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
