butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Randomize
