around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
