The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
