my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
We left the knife in your bed.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
You're breaking my sexual little heart
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Randomize
