Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
