I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
