I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
