i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
