whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
