That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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