Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
