Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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