we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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