drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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