You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
