see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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